Remembering the dream

I was 10 years old when I knew.  It was a real lightbulb moment.

 

It happened on a school day.  Justin had just split up with Rachel - as you do when you're 10.  I remember going into the toilets and being aware of singing 'Breaking up is hard to do' quietly to myself.  I had no idea how that song had popped into my head.  I REALLY wanted to know how our brains worked.  I can still see it in my mind's eye - the spark of something beckoning. 

 

I held that dream until I was about 18 when I was applying for college places to study Behavioural Science.  But by then I was deep into sugar addiction and living off a daily dose of cookies.  Then alcohol.  But not both at once.  I fluffed my grades and stayed on at school for a bit. 

 

Instead, I fell into a job in insurance and stayed there for 11 years.  Then became a stay at home mum, hiding from real-life.  I spent decades numbly muddling through, trying to keep my head above water and not doing a very good job of it. 

 

It's funny, I never even realised that my dreams had evaporated until I'd come out of the other side.  Healing my sugar sensitivity has allowed those dreams to bubble up to the surface again along with 'Hope' and 'Possibility'.  It's such an amazing experience. 

 

I am now nearly half-way through a degree in Psychology.  It's taken a while to get here, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Living the dream at last.